Tale of the Dual-Port Pump


Late one evening a hospital patient happened by his neighbor’s room and made a mental note of the I.V. pump in use there. When at last he returned to his own room he carefully inspected the pump he had been assigned and became indignant, and righteously so.

The Hospital hall-wanderer nearly tripped on his bedside tray getting to his nurse-call button. The interminable delay of two minutes passed, and when the nurse approached his room he fell into a minor rage, “How can you people ignore the needs of your patients so blatantly?”

Stricken, the professional R.N. queried, “Mister Hall, how have we failed you?”

Blustering now, trying in vain to control his justified outrage, he blurted, “My neighbor has a dual-port I.V. pump while I’m stuck with this old single-port junk.”

“But Mister Hall, you only need one port to feed your I.V. I’m sure that if —”

“That’s not the point!” he spat. “If I ever needed both ports I’d be SOL! You know how long you people take to respond to patients’ needs.”

“But Mister Hall, you’re scheduled for discharge in the morning. In fact, I have orders to remove your I.V. during tonight’s rounds.”

“Again, not the point, Florence!”

Hall’s sarcastic reference to Florence Nightingale hurt the caring nurse to the core, but unflapped, she decided to let the storm blow over.

“Ah, I see I got your attention, nurse.” His demeanor was becoming ever more menacing. “So listen to this! Yours will be the first name on the law suit I will file tomorrow, I’m an attorney, you know!” Hall’s face was by then a couple of shades of crimson. “And I … I shall personally see … that …” Hall began clutching his chest. “That you shall … shall … loose … your …”

With that, Mister Hall fell into an inert pile on the floor of room 357.”

The nurse stared at the corpse with concern for a few moments, reached over to the intercom and said, “Housekeeping, toxic cleanup in room 357, stat.”

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3 thoughts on “Tale of the Dual-Port Pump

  1. Well jokes are normally over the Top James but this is the worst put down I have heard for a long time, I don’t find verbal abuse funny, yes it happens and I have experienced it myself and been guilty of it too but it is not something we laugh about, or do we laugh because someone dies in a rage, nor is it a good reason for a Health Care professional to be Sarcastic but someone must have thought them funny to have written this.

    There is good and bad jokes or witty inventions as the Scripture calls them, God gave us the gift of laughing and we are to use it but not with focusing on bad humor . I was told recently that I was a Nothing, I reasoned that was impossible and even found harmless humor to offset it, which also lead to my sharing God’s Truth in Scripture but I didn’t take lightly the abuse and will rebuke this person when the opportunity comes and their friends who have been rubbishing me behind my back, they call themselves Christians but are deliberately sinning by their critical gossiping about me and no doubt others who also don’t agree with what they teach in error.

    One person commented on my Post that they are seeing their own reflection and yes this is true as they have no genuine evidence to support their claims or confirmation of Scripture that I’m in error in what I share from the Scriptures as Jesus leads me, they are rejecting His Truth when they ignore and delete my comments because that is what I share, they are showing at best that they are deceived or childish Christians but they could be wolves or False Teachers.

    Christian Love in Christ Jesus – Anne

    • The only comments I delete are abusive, personal attacks, as I welcome civil disagreements. Thanks so much for taking the time to write thoughtful comments.

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